So your Ex (or Soon to be Ex) Husband was the Breadwinner, Now What…?

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So your Ex (or Soon to be Ex) Husband was the Breadwinner, Now What…?

As a divorce lawyer, one of the most disheartening issues my clients face, is how to financially survive during and/or after divorce.  Although getting divorce has a detrimental impact on all parties involved, sadly, and far too often this is a major concern for women.

Women who, throughout the duration of their marriage, made little or no income because they were stay at home wives/moms feel lost; because they have spent years out of the workplace, with little or no work experience or continuing education, many fear that it will be extremely difficult or impossible to support themselves. Even for those are employed – going from two incomes to one income in a house is a big deal. Knowing that your spouse, who you have been financially dependent on, after divorce may no longer have the obligation to provide for you  is often a very stressful realization for women who are going through this process.

Sure, if you were in a long-term marriage, some states may order the other party to pay spousal support for a certain period of time. If you have children, you may also be entitled to child support, depending on your and your ex’s income + expenses and how much time each of you spend with the children. Nonetheless, unless your spouse is rolling in the dough and/or you plan on living a super-duper frugal lifestyle for the rest of your days, a spousal and child support award will hardly be enough for you to live comfortably without any additional income.

When advising on this issue, I’m often asked “What am I supposed to do?”  “How am I supposed to survive with little or no financial contribution from him?” Unfortunately, for many of my clients, the answer is something they aren’t prepared for: “You have to get a job or otherwise earn money and manage your money in order to get on your feet.”

So, where does a person with little or no income start to make a transition into a life of independence?

According to America’s Money Maven, Patrice C. Washington, the first step is honing your money mind-set;  she notes that with the proper mindset, no matter what life throws at you, you will be able to bounce back and be better off than you were before. While I understand this sounds much easier said than done, this advice comes from a woman who built a 7-figure business, lost it during the recession, and has since re-established her wealth and built a career as a nationally sought after speaker, coach, and personal-finance educator to people across the country.  In her new, re-released book, “Real Money Answers for Every Woman,” she teaches you how to “Win the money game, with or without a man.”   After having the opportunity to read the book twice, from cover-to-cover, I realized that this book is perfect for women who have or are going through a divorce and I recommend it to my clients to help jump-start their journey to independence.

In the first section of this book, “Create Wealthy Habits,” she helps you take a deep look at your current financial situation and identify the roots of your money problems and replace them with wealthy habits.

In the section entitled, “Earn More Money,” she shares ideas on how you can increase your income, whether you are working a 9 to 5 or have a skill that can lead you to Entrepreneurship.  She even shares tips on understanding your value and how to negotiate a salary that you deserve.

In addition to the above, what I like most is how she goes in-depth, sharing practical tips on budgeting, saving, reducing debt, boosting your credit, and so much more, that can be implemented immediately.

Going through a divorce is a very trying experience. Although not written specifically for women going through a divorce, I found every section of this book to be relevant to the feelings, emotions, and circumstances experienced by those facing the dilemma of re-building their lives after an unanticipated circumstance.  I am confident that after reading this book, women who feel at a loss due to their circumstances will realize that with knowledge and application of that knowledge, they can bounce-back…even when it seemed impossible, as long as they are willing to take a step up, and take necessary action. It’s possible to WIN the money game, with OR without a man.

To learn more about the book, which is officially launching on January 19, 2016, visit www.realmoneyanswers.com

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